Defensiveness

Defensiveness is a natural reaction to an attack. It is a form of self-protection, but it also shows that you are insecure. If you are defensive with your boss, he will be less likely to trust you in the future because of how defensive you were in this encounter. People who are defensive show immaturity and weakness.

Treating the person as an object

One of the most common communication problems is treating the other person as an object. This happens when we see them as a means to an end rather than as human beings with their own interests, needs, and desires.

Ex: “I want you to do this for me.”

How to treat people like people:

• • Listen actively – being a good listener isn’t just about hearing what they say but also understanding what they’re saying on an emotional level. You don’t have to agree with them but if you can understand where they’re coming from then it will help you communicate better with them. For example, if someone says that they feel stressed out by work then this could mean that they need more support from their colleagues or manager etc; if someone says that they feel ignored by their family then this might imply that maybe there’s some other issue causing friction between them all (like money). If we can find out how people are feeling then we can start trying to resolve any problems together rather than using coercion or manipulation which tends not to lead anywhere productive!

Stonewalling

Over the years, we’ve all seen this happen: you’re in a conversation with someone and they ask you a question. You respond, but they don’t say anything in response to your answer.

That’s stonewalling.

And it’s the opposite of good communication.

Mind-reading

Mind-reading is another common problem in communication. It happens when you assume you know what someone else is thinking, and jump to conclusions about their thoughts or feelings. This can lead to a lot of problems:

• • When people are mind-reading, they may think they understand what another person wants them to do—but because the other person doesn’t say anything about it, the first person may end up doing something different than what was intended. For example, if you don’t tell your friend that you want him/her to pay for lunch tomorrow but instead let them think it’s your treat—well then there will probably be some confusion later on when he/she starts pulling out money and trying to repay him/herself!
  • Mind-reading also makes it easy for people who are afraid of conflict (which most of us are) to avoid dealing with difficult situations head-on by avoiding confronting someone directly with our concerns or needs instead of simply assuming that everything is fine without checking in first.”

Giving advice when it wasn’t asked for.

People don’t like being told what to do. It can be helpful to give advice in a way that shows you are listening to the other person and taking their perspective into account. For example: “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.” Or, “I know this is hard for you.” This demonstrates that you have been listening and empathizing with them, which makes it more likely they will listen when you offer advice later on.

Another option is to ask questions such as: “How can I support you?” or “What do you need right now?” This gives people control over the conversation and an opportunity to articulate what they are feeling or needing right now—and it also gives them an opportunity for self-reflection on how they want things done differently next time around!

Undermining what another person says by reminding them of their past failures or mistakes.

When you try to remind another person of their past failures or mistakes, it’s a form of mind-reading. It’s also an attempt to control the other person and get them to change. Last but not least, it can be an attempt to make the other person feel bad about themselves. This is a mistake because:

• • It puts you in the driver’s seat when you don’t know enough about what’s going on inside someone else’s head
  • It implies that your opinion matters more than theirs

Interrupting someone else’s story to tell another, similar one.

Interrupting someone else’s story to tell another, a similar one is a big no-no. You don’t want to appear rude or inconsiderate by imposing your own narrative on someone else’s. There are many ways you can make this mistake:

• • Don’t be too eager to tell your story. If the person is telling their story, they may have already thought of it as over and done with or not worth talking about again. You might find that when you interrupt them, they react with surprise or anger, even if they’re not intentionally trying to end the conversation by doing so!
  • Don’t be afraid to let someone else finish their story first before jumping in with yours—but also don’t wait too long before asking questions or clarifying something from what was said earlier (unless it’s clearly an awkward silence). It’s better for everyone involved if there is some sort of back-and-forth throughout the conversation rather than just one person talking at length without any pauses for questions or clarification purposes at all times during each meeting–that can get boring pretty quickly!

If there’s anything else I haven’t mentioned here today that comes up often between two people who know each other well enough but still feel nervous about how much information seems like too much information… feel free to ask me anything anytime!”

Not allowing for a break in the conversation to respond to something you disagree with.

When someone is speaking, it’s important to let them finish their thought. Even if you know that what they’re saying is wrong, or not true to the situation at hand, you should allow them to speak until they’ve finished their point. This may sound silly—why would anyone want to listen to someone who’s wrong? But by listening first before responding, you can learn something new about yourself and others.

You don’t have to agree with everything that person says, but I promise there will be something valuable hidden in whatever he or she is saying (even if it’s just clarity on how your perspectives differ). What if you could get a more detailed explanation of why someone thinks your ideas are off base? Would that help improve your arguments?

You might also ask questions along the way: “Please repeat that so I can make sure I understand.” Or: “Can you give me examples of what happened here?” By asking questions like these as opposed to responding right away, we can avoid falling into one-sided arguments and instead create space for deeper communication and understanding between ourselves and others

Not listening carefully to all that was said, and responding to only the last thing the other person said. (This shows your brain is filtering everything through your own perspective.)

We all know it’s important to listen carefully. But many of us still don’t do it. Why is that? One reason, as stated above, is that we’re so focused on what we have to say next that we don’t pay attention to everything the other person said. We interrupt and then ask for clarification about only the last thing they said—not anything else in their long-winded diatribe. The result: You come across as a distracted listener who doesn’t really care about what they’re saying or understand how they feel (and this can be especially offensive when you’re trying to resolve conflict).

It’s also important not to let your own emotions get in the way of listening carefully; if you get angry or frustrated with what’s being said by someone else, try taking some deep breaths before responding in order to calm yourself down first so you can think more clearly about how best to respond (and hopefully not blow up!)

Overreacting, either verbally or physically.

Overreacting is a communication problem and mistake that many of us are guilty of. It can be caused by many factors, including:

• • stress
  • feeling threatened or defensive
  • fear of conflict

Careful listening can prevent a lot of these problems in communication.

Careful listening can prevent a lot of these problems in communication. To do that, try not to interrupt and don’t assume you know what the other person is going to say. Don’t assume you know what they are thinking or feeling either.

For example, if your boss says they are concerned about something, don’t jump in with “I’m sorry,” “That’s not even close,” or “It was definitely me who did it.” Listen first and then respond appropriately.

Conclusion

Communication is an essential skill, but it can be hard to be good at. We’re all prone to making mistakes in this area. But by being aware of these common pitfalls and trying to avoid them, we can improve our communication skills and make sure that our relationships with others are less stressful and more productive.